Iris' Birth Story

Today I am so excited to be sharing my niece's birth story on the blog. Iris was born just three days after Irelyn and my sister Helena and I are just loving having babies so close together. To read more about that you can go here but for now enjoy this beautiful birth story!

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To my sweet sweet Iris,

I have always loved hearing the story of my birth, over and over again (even though I caused my mother lots and lots of pain!) so I want to write down your birth story for you to read someday, and also as a way for me to remember everything that made it such a hard but miraculous experience. 

Your due date was April 19th, the Saturday before Easter. The week before I'd had a few nights of Braxton Hicks for a few hours, and my lower back would ache, but your due date came and went with no sign of your coming. Dad and I spent the day at Ma and Pa's with his family to celebrate Easter. I had expected all along for you to be late, so I wasn't too disappointed.

Right around midnight the Wednesday after your due date I started feeling very mild contractions, usually about 5 minutes apart. This was more regular than anything before, so I suspected it was the real thing, but still didn't believe it yet or want to get my hopes up. I woke up my mom to let her know something was happening, and an hour or so later contacted your Gramma Cluff to let her know they were good to head down from Springerville- it looked like you were coming! By 2 am contractions were closer together, but a little shorter. When I wasn't in the bathtub (listening to Benjamin Francis Leftwich) I mostly rocked in my rocking chair, breathing through contractions. By 3 am contractions were strong enough I could talk through them but didn't want to, and the back labor had gotten much worse. Between my legs would ache and shake (the same way I remember them shaking when I went to the dentist when I was younger. So I guess just a nerves thing.) By 5 am my contractions had been consistently 2 minutes apart for a while, although still shorter than in the beginning. We gathered up last-minute things for our hospital bag and headed to the hospital. The whole drive there we listened to “All at Once” by Jack Johnson on repeat, a song that I have always thought is very soothing and relaxing.

At 5:45 in triage they checked me and I was at 4 cm. They suggested I walk the halls for an hour to get me dilated further. It took the whole hour pretty much for my mom and I to walk down the hall and back. I would only get past two doors between contractions, and then I'd have to stop, lean my head against the wall, and sway and breathe through the contraction. Mom would also put pressure on my lower back throughout each contraction to help with the intense back pain. At 7:50 they checked me again- I was at 4.5 cm, you were beginning to move down, and my water was bulging right at the edge of my cervix but had yet to break. They suggested I walk for another hour, and at that point if things hadn't progressed further they would have to send me home. At this point your dad came back in to triage (they'd said at first that only one person could be in there with me), and I spent the next hour sitting on a birthing ball and leaning over the side of the bed, with Mimo and Dad constantly putting pressure on my back, and rubbing my legs to help with the aching and shaking. I didn't feel like my legs could have taken much more walking. At about 9:30 they checked me again, and I (thankfully!) was between 5 and 6 cm dilated. They started me on a round of antibiotics for Group B Strep and I was officially admitted! I remember feeling so relieved that things had progressed enough for them to not send me home. I did NOT want to get back in the car.

At some point they moved me to a delivery room, and I think I spent the next few hours mostly lying on my side on the bed. (My ability to measure the passing of time accurately during labor was a bit skewed, thankfully.) I think I was urged multiple times to labor in more vertical positions, to help you move down, so two or three times I labored in the shower with Dad for a bit, but didn't ever last very long because my legs were exhausted. Over the next few hours I just focused on breathing through increasingly strong contractions, and trying to rest in the two minutes between. At some point your Gramma Cluff arrived (with your aunts Karra, Evie, and Jessie) and joined Dad and Mimo in rubbing my legs and back and giving me verbal encouragement. I don't know what time, but eventually they checked me and I had reached 8 cm. That meant we were getting closer! But also meant time for the most painful contractions as you were making your final descent down the birth canal. After 2 or 3 hours of very intense contractions along with very painful back labor, a part of me wanted to give up. My eyes would water and I wanted to look up at my mom and tell her I couldn't do it anymore. I continued enduring contraction after contraction though, and finally decided to try a technique your aunt Emma had used three days before during her labor with Irelyn, after learning you were posterior (which they had known all along but never told me? Probably a good thing because I think that would have made me worry and made it harder to stay focused). The technique (abdominal lift and tucks) would help get you facing the right direction, which would move things along and relieve most of the back pain.

Dad stood behind me and did the lift and tucks for me (I admittedly was too scared to, knowing it would make contractions even more uncomfortable), while I applied pressure to my back. After a few lift and tucks I began feeling an intense (super super intense) need to go to the bathroom with each contraction. In hindsight I realized this was feeling the urge to push, but at the time I remember just saying, "I HAVE to go to the bathroom. Get me to the bathroom" and thinking they were the most awful contractions yet. As soon as I sat down on the toilet my water broke, and probably 2 or 3 minutes later I was on the bed pushing! It was one of the best feelings I'd yet experienced, knowing very very soon I would be meeting you, my sweet baby girl. 

You were born less than 15 minutes after I started pushing. Those 15 minutes were a blur. I don't remember much, but I almost right away I was told your heart rate had dropped. We needed to get you out as quickly as possible. I think after a few rounds of pushing you were crowning but weren't coming out any further. My midwife gave me an episiotomy, and you were out within seconds. Mimo says you were born with your fist by your cheek, and it looked like the cord was pinched under your arm, explaining your heart rate. I didn't get to hold you right away because you were not yet breathing, but within a minute you were breathing on your own and doing just fine. In retrospect, I realize that I could have/should have been a lot more scared and worried those last few minutes of delivery, but all I remember is feeling calm and knowing everything would be okay. I am very thankful I was able to feel that peace, because I know it wouldn't have helped any for me to freak out. I also remember feeling extremely relieved that you were here and healthy, immensely grateful for your dad and grandmas for helping me through labor, and especially thankful for our Heavenly Father. Being able to give birth to you naturally was an answer to months of prayers, and I felt the Spirit so strongly at your birth. I had never felt so close to heaven. 

After about 10 or 15 minutes (I think?) they brought you over to me to hold, and you cried and cried and cried. I have no idea how long I held you for, but at some point you went back to Dad and other family, while I stayed on my back waiting for my  placenta to come out. We waited for about a half hour with nothing happening, so they started me on Pitocin. A half hour later the placenta still hadn't detached. Because of the risk of hemorrhaging , we couldn't wait much longer for it to detach on its own. They gave me Stadol so I wouldn't feel anything and had the doctor manually detach my placenta. The pain killers made me very loopy, and although it didn't hurt I could still feel pressure and movement, which was really uncomfortable. I remember thinking it was worse than labor, although it definitely was not.

There are a dozen other things I could write about, but most of all I hope you know your birth was a special day for so many people, and you are surrounded by family that loves you very very much :)

Love, 
Your Momma

Dad helping me do the lift and tucks. This was probably less than 20 minutes before you were born.

Getting cleaned up and measured.

Weight: 6 lb. 6 oz. Height: 19.5 in.

Our first family picture.

You and Gramma Cluff. 

You with your Aunt Evie. I think she may have been the first person to hold you.

You and your Mimo.

One more from the hospital.

And my most recent picture of you- almost 3 months old!

Irelyn's Birth Story

Irelyn’s actual birth story is not that long but I have a lot I want to preface it with. I feel like I learned so much from both of my birth experiences and I think it is so important to share what we learn with those around us so I’m going to start Irelyn’s story with a preface. If you want to skip forward to the actual story you are welcome to (I bolded where it starts)!

Holland’s birth twenty months ago was a pretty hard experience for me. (You can read about it here—part 1, part 2, and some of the after effects here). If you don’t have time to read all of that you mostly just need to know that I ended up having a C-section when I had planned to have a natural, unmedicated birth. I honestly did not realize the implications of having a C-section until I was in the OR and my midwife happened to mention that the doctor doing the surgery was really good about stitching me up in a way that would make me a great candidate for a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). That is when it really hit me: Holland’s birth would affect all of my future births.

When I got pregnant with Irelyn I knew my goal was to have a VBAC. I immediately went on a local Facebook forum and asked if people knew of any VBAC friendly doctors in my area. I was so grateful to get TONS of recommendations from the ladies in this group. I was also told about a forum on Facebook all about VBACs (VBAC Facts Community—anyone who has had a previous C-section should check out this forum and website to learn more about VBACs/RCS (Repeat C-Sections)). I joined the group on Facebook and started researching the many doctors recommended to me.  

I found a wonderful doctor and my pregnancy passed quickly (thanks to Holland keeping me nice and busy!) without any complications. I made sure to talk to my doctor about my plans to have a VBAC at every appointment and the more I talked to him the more supported I felt. I would come home from each appointment just so grateful to have such a supportive doctor.

As I got closer to my due date I felt like I needed to mentally prepare for whatever birth experience I would end up having. I felt like I needed to face the reality that things might not go the way that I wanted. At this point I really felt like the most important thing I could do to prepare for this birth experience was to take my concerns/fears/desires to my Heavenly Father and then let things happen the way He planned. The last few weeks of my pregnancy I went to the temple a few times, read my scriptures, wrote down scriptures and hymns that I could read before/during/after labor for comfort, and said a LOT of prayers. I knew that having a C-section again was something that I might have to face and I wanted to be able to feel peace with whatever birth experience I ended up having.

My due date came and passed uneventfully, just like Holland’s. Let me tell you, going over your due date is not fun at all! I do not wish it upon anyone. With Holland I remember crying every day I went over my due date. I would go to bed every night thinking, ‘Tonight could be the night!’ and waking up every morning was really disappointing. This time I wasn’t quite so upset but I didn’t know if I could emotionally handle going two weeks over again and then going through the same labor experience just to end up with a C-section again. So just after my due date passed I started praying about whether or not I should schedule a Repeat C-Section. This was something I had not even seriously considered my entire pregnancy and honestly, before I started considering it I had thought it was absolutely ridiculous for people to schedule Repeat C-Sections for their personal convenience. But, here I was considering it. And as I prayed about it I felt peace. I felt like it was an okay decision for me to make and this was a reminder to me not to judge others for their decisions.

I had an appointment the following Wednesday (40 weeks and 3 days) and I talked to my doctor about scheduling a C-section. I went over the pros and cons with him and explained my reasons for coming to this decision. He was very supportive and understanding of my decision and we scheduled the C-section for one week later (41 weeks 3 days) with the hospital. He reminded me that if I went into labor before then that of course we would still try for the VBAC. I cried on the way home from that appointment because I felt like I was giving up on my lifelong dream of experiencing natural, unmedicated childbirth. I prayed and let Heavenly Father know that I was trusting in Him that things would happen the way they were supposed to. After getting my tears out I again felt at peace with my decision. I knew that I was still giving my body/my baby time to start things and I also had a week to come to terms with having a C-section if that’s how things turned out.

And then things actually started happening.

Thursday through Saturday I had Braxton Hicks for a couple hours each night but they would inevitably fizzle out and be gone when I woke up the next morning. I did not have these with Holland at all though so that was definitely a positive change! Saturday during the day I did some serious nesting. I am not an awesome housekeeper (just ask Race) but Saturday I deep cleaned our kitchen and bathroom and just did other general house cleaning things. I spent hours cleaning and organizing. I’m sure we’ve all heard stories about people doing serious nesting RIGHT before their babies come and I’m not going to lie, I was hoping this all meant something for me but I also didn’t want to get my hopes up too much. So I went to bed hoping I would wake up to contractions in the night or to my water breaking or something but I woke up the next morning a little disappointed. I couldn’t be too sad though because it was Easter!

Race, Holland, my brother Solomon, and I headed to church and enjoyed some wonderful talks and musical numbers speaking of Christ and His wonderful sacrifice for all of us. I was pleasantly surprised to notice that I was experiencing Braxton Hicks (during the day!!) so we headed home after Sacrament meeting so that I could get some rest and see if the Braxton Hicks were going to turn into anything more.

At home we ate a delicious Easter dinner, hid Easter eggs for Holland, ate lots of yummy candy, rested, and just enjoyed the afternoon together. The Braxton Hicks got a little bit stronger but they weren’t any closer together or really regular at all. I wasn’t getting my hopes up that Irelyn was on her way just yet. I did start looking up some information on Spinning Babies about how to turn a posterior baby while in labor. I was pretty sure that Irelyn was posterior just like Holland and I didn’t want to end up with a C-section because I couldn’t push this baby out. So around 8:30 PM with my contractions becoming a bit stronger but still somewhat irregular I decided to try some abdominal lift and tucks. In between/during contractions I did some work, showered with Holland, tried to rest, helped put Holland to bed, and just tried to see if things were progressing. I was totally in denial that things were really happening until 11:13 PM when I texted my mom telling her that the contractions were stronger and closer together but that I was going to try and rest and time them for a few minutes before we decided to head out the door.

I didn’t end up being able to rest at all. Race and I started getting last minute things ready to go, and over the next 45 minutes while we rushed around things finally started to feel real to me. I really had to stop and concentrate when I had a contraction and I didn’t have much time between contractions. I kept trying to braid my bangs so they would be out of my face during delivery but after trying to quickly do that between 3 contractions I gave up and just twisted them back quickly.

At 12:00 AM we headed out the door to the hospital. My mom has always said that you don’t leave until you don’t want to get in the car. I hadn’t intentionally done that but the car ride was absolutely the hardest part of my labor. It was not fun to labor in the car at all. My contractions were close and very strong the whole drive so the drive felt like much longer than the 30 minutes it actually was. I responded to a text from my mom asking how close contractions were saying “Not sure. 1-3 minutes. 1 minute long. Really strong. Car is bad.” So eloquent. Haha. On the car ride I was a little ridiculous during contractions but Race just kept comforting me—letting me know that we were getting close and holding my hand.

We arrived at the hospital around 12:30 AM and I had to stop two or three times on the very short walk from the car to the ER to squat through contractions. At this point I had realized that I was feeling the need to push and I couldn’t really help trying. We were taken up to labor and delivery and I was admitted into triage at 12:35 AM. I got into my gown quickly and the triage nurse checked me. She didn’t actually say how dilated I was but as she walked out of the room she said to the other nurses “She’s good to go.” I wasn’t sure what that meant but immediately after she walked out I kind of pushed through a contraction and my water broke…all over the triage floor. It was seriously so loud and so much water that I was convinced for a half second that my baby had just shot out of me! Super ridiculous, I know, but it was really super loud! All the nurses heard it so they rushed right in and got me moved into a labor and delivery room right away. By 12:39 AM I was hooked up to monitors and by 12:50 AM I was pushing.  Pushing felt AMAZING. It felt so good to push through the contractions and to know that my body was doing just what it was supposed to. The entire time I was pushing I was just thanking Heavenly Father for this wonderful experience. At 1:09 AM Irelyn Sage Ashby came into the world and was immediately placed on my chest where she stayed for the next hour or so. Eventually we found out that she weighed 7 lbs. 12 oz. and was 20 3/4 inches long. I was so in shock at how wonderfully things had gone and so grateful and happy to meet my sweet baby girl and to have had such a wonderful delivery experience.

My doctor was unable to make it to my crazy fast delivery but the doctor on call was wonderful! Dr. Bradley did some massaging of my perineum while I pushed to help avoid serious tearing, which I was so grateful for. The nurses were also amazing. They coached me a little on how to push more efficiently and then just let me do my thing. Afterwards they said they wanted me to come back and teach classes on how to have a successful VBAC and one nurse kept telling me that I had such amazing control while pushing at the end that it seemed like I had an epidural. I was so grateful for the loving, encouraging words and was just so overwhelmed with joy at how wonderfully the whole experience had gone. Even though our experience with Holland was a little scary and loooong and exhausting for Race and I both, Race was still so supportive of my decision to have a VBAC. He was my constant support and he was so happy to have had such a wonderful experience this time around. I am so grateful for him and I am so grateful that we were both able to experience such a healing, beautiful birth. I am also grateful to have learned so much from my birth experiences, and I feel like because of my very different experiences I can be more understanding and empathetic towards people who have had all kinds of births.

And now for some photos! 

Last bump photo on Easter Sunday {41 weeks} 

Sweet new baby with Mom. 

Meeting Dad for the first time.

So tiny and adorable.

Our first "family picture". Holland is holding her new baby doll while Race shows her Irelyn and I'm hiding back behind the faucet in the reflection. Haha. Holland is absolutely in love with her "baby sisser"!

In Other News.

This is happening. :] 

Holland doesn't seem to be too excited about getting a sibling! Haha.

We're all pretty excited to welcome Ashby Baby #2 next April and I'm attempting to teach Holland that there is a baby in my belly. Mostly she just thinks my belly button is super cool stuff. 

The official due date is April 13th, 2014 and we can't wait to meet this second baby! I am 15 weeks along today (Sunday) and we just had our first doctor's appointment on Friday. We love our doctor and I am really hoping to have a VBAC (Vaginal Birth after Cesarean). We'll see what surprises this labor and delivery brings though since Holland's birth story did not go at all the way I was planning! Hopefully I'm a little more prepared for the unexpected this time around!

I'm excited to talk more about my birthing plans and thoughts about preparing for the unexpected and stuff like that. I've been doing a lot of research on all things birth related {even more than I did with Holland--and I did A LOT with her!} and I'm really excited for this new journey--no matter how it turns out! 

I'll do a pregnancy update/comparison to Holland's in another post but I just wanted to finally let the cat out of the bag! We're having a baby!!!