Reflections: Question Two

Reflections

{I don't know if I mentioned this but I am not doing these in order...obviously}


#2 Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.


1. I have always been afraid of losing someone close to me {Parents, siblings, husband, future children}. I am honestly not sure how this fear came to be though. It has never happened to me so that is not the reason. Maybe it's more just the fear of the unknown. I am not sure how I would react, how I would deal with things. I am sure I would figure it out and I would heal over time but just thinking about it scares me. I have always been afraid that if someone close to me died I would have regrets about how I treated them or what my last words were to them. This helps me to think more about how I treat those I love and I hope that it continues to do that throughout my life without me actually having to go through such a tragedy. If it were to happen I am sure I would learn and grow from it though. People who have lost loved ones and grown from it are seriously some of the most inspiring people I have ever met. 


2. I have a fear of something happening to my baby during pregnancy/birth. This is similar to the fear above but just more specific. Pregnancy just seems to be one of those things that you never know if you are in the safe zone. Things can change at any time during your pregnancy or during the birth process. I am grateful for my healthy baby girl. 


3. I have an irrational fear of being attacked when I am out walking alone or home alone. This one comes from watching way too much Law and Order SVU and other similar shows. Haha. I am always convinced that someone is following me and everyone is out to get me. Here's an example of this: When I was younger {8th gradeish} I was walking and eating some mashed potatoes on my way to meet my sister who was on her way home from school. She was running a little bit late and I was convinced that she had been kidnapped. As I was walking with my bowl of mashed potatoes I started to eat them slower because a van was passing by slowly and I was convinced that they were the kidnappers and already had my sister but we're gonna get me next. I just knew that this would be the only food we would have for who knows how long so I was going to make them last. The van slowed down across the street and then slowly made a u-turn towards me. And then they drove away. Haha. A couple of minutes later I met up with my sister. Oh, and every time my sister would take the shuttle bus from Phoenix to Flagstaff to visit me I would be constantly checking my watch and stressed out if she was late because I thought she was kidnapped. She doesn't have a cell phone and she really needs to get one so that I can stop worrying about silly things all the time! Yeah, I have always had pretty irrational weird fears about people being after me/my sister!


Well, those are my three biggest fears. Spiders, sharks, snakes, heights and all of those things are scary too but they don't quite make the top of my list. I mostly just don't really like any of those. And even though I don't super like heights I do LOVE roller coasters. I told Race that we have to go to an amusement park after this baby comes so that I can ride some roller coasters!


Well, that's enough randomness for the day. Have a Happy Friday/Weekend everyone! I am going to go get myself some Bahama Bucks!

Dressing 'Le Bump' {#6}

I haven't done one of these posts in a while! So I thought I should do one since my belly is significantly bigger these days! {It's hard for me to believe it has six{ish} weeks left of growing to do! AH!}

I have noticed that I take less pictures because I have been wearing a lot of repeat outfits but I need to keep taking pictures because I still want to document the bump growing. So, there might be repeat outfits {for those of you who follow me on Instagram--emmaashby}. Either that or I'll just go out and spend money on new clothes! We'll see which one actually happens.

On the blog I'll just show you the new outfits though!

{This was a week ago. So now I'm 34 weeks along.} 

Breakdown: 

Shirt- Old Navy girls' section- $5

Cardigan- Old Navy- $6ish

Belt- Charlotte Russe- $2

Maternity Pants- Shade- $19 

{I got them with an extra 30% off so they are a little bit more expensive now}

I need to wear fewer layers now that we are living in the hotter part of AZ. In other words, no more cardigans or undershirts. Any tips for dressing cool down here?? I knew at one point since I grew up here but living in Flagstaff for four years and being pregnant are two things that are not helping me adjust to the heat very well. Maybe I just need to live in the pool for the next six weeks. Good idea, eh?

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Change

I haven't  been blogging much lately but I thought I had better get caught up on what has been going on in our lives lately. {And I finally have time. No job and I'm back from Oregon! My only focus right now is growing a baby!} Life has been pretty crazy and doesn't seem to want to slow down at all. So, I'd better get used to it before I have a baby and things get CRAZIER! I also wanted to document these last few months before the baby comes because it will be fun to look back and remember what we were going through. {It's also funny to think that Race and I were pretty convinced that right now would be the PERFECT time to have a baby. We would be graduated and officially 'real adults' so everything would just fall into place. Now we've realized that there may never be a perfect time to have a baby. Life is always going to be crazy. But we have learned that there is a right time to have a baby and this was the time for us. We are so excited our little one is on her way!}

Everyone has heard the saying about change being the only constant thing in life. This little saying has been going through my head A LOT in the past few months.  It feels like every time Race and I try to make plans everything changes and we have to readjust to something new.

I won't go through ALL the different plan changes we've been through in the past months but just know that we have almost moved into quite a few different apartments in quite a few different places. We actually have moved out of our on campus housing in Flagstaff and into a new place and then out of that apartment down to the valley {AZ}. We are living with my parents for a few months while we figure things out to avoid signing a lease and then having to break it if things change again. But that just means that we will be moving again within the next few months.

Race has almost gotten multiple jobs and we start planning for them and then things fall through. He has a job now but did not get the schedule he was told he would be able to get which has thrown a wrench in our plans.  We have been told that jobs will be created for Race to apply for and then people have not followed through.


We have changed doctors multiple times. The most recent being this last week. I'm really hoping that we will be staying with this doctor through the rest of my pregnancy but I really don't know at this point. 


In the last few months there have been a lot of prayers, lots of hopes and dreams, a few disappointments, and many tears {on my part--I am learning that I don't deal with change very well}. We are grateful for all that we have and we really are not complaining about our life. We love that we are closer to our families than we were before, we are grateful that Race has a job, and we are excited to meet our little girl in just a few weeks! We are not enjoying the heat of the valley but we will survive with lots of trips to Bahama Bucks! We are on the lookout for a better job for Race and for a more permanent housing solution once we figure out where we are going to be long-term. We are hoping that Race can get his shift changed to the one he wanted but for now we are just going to enjoy this time that we have together. 


So, that's where were at about six weeks and one day before we are due to meet our sweet baby girl. Life is exciting, super hot, and constantly changing! We'll figure things out with lots more prayer, faith, and the love and support of our families and friends.

Race's first time at Bahama Bucks.

{He's in love with it!}

Moving some stuff into our storage unit.

{U-Haul storage places are very aesthetically pleasing. Haha.}

Thoughts on Pregnancy

I never know how to respond when people ask me how my pregnancy has been. A lot of times I feel like I am expected to rant and rave about how awful and hard it is.

After a lot of time spent thinking about it I have found my answer. I love being pregnant. This is not because it has been easy. I threw up every day {or multiple times a day} for weeks. When I wasn't throwing up I was nauseous. But I have loved so many other aspects of being pregnant.

I love watching my baby bump grow. I love feeling my sweet girl move around and explore her {very small} surroundings. I love thinking about her learning how to stretch and use her body. I love dressing my bump and taking pictures every day {even though everyone else might be bored with them}. I love listening to her heart beat with my phone app. I love to watch my belly move and take videos of it to send to my family {even if it's really only exciting to me}.

I have dealt with the aches and pains of pregnancy and Race hears plenty of moaning and groaning from me. Whether it's about how I can't reach my feet anymore or get up from the couch or how my ribs ache from having HIS daughter {she's his daughter when she's making me uncomfortable and mine when she's being fun ;)} all jammed up in there. However, I have been blessed to mostly remember the good, fun things. Race will remind me that there have been days I absolutely hated being pregnant and have cried lots and just laid around because I felt so sick. But, I have been able to forget those things {the majority of the time} and I have been able to enjoy this amazing experience despite the hard times. I am grateful that my body is capable of bringing life into this world. I am excited to give birth to my sweet baby and to finally get to meet her. I think I will miss feeling her move inside me all the time but I will love to finally be able to hold her in my arms.

So, next time someone asks me how my pregnancy has been I will respond by telling them that I absolutely love it!

And now for some fun bump pictures from my pregnancy! 

{Spanning 16-32 weeks}