Irelyn’s actual birth story is not that long but I have a
lot I want to preface it with. I feel like I learned so much from both of my
birth experiences and I think it is so important to share what we learn with
those around us so I’m going to start Irelyn’s story with a preface. If you
want to skip forward to the actual story you are welcome to (I bolded where it starts)!
Holland’s birth twenty months ago was a pretty hard
experience for me. (You can read about it here—
part 1,
part 2, and some of the
after effects
here). If you don’t have time to read all of that you mostly just
need to know that I ended up having a C-section when I had planned to have a
natural, unmedicated birth. I honestly did not realize the implications of
having a C-section until I was in the OR and my midwife happened to mention
that the doctor doing the surgery was really good about stitching me up in a
way that would make me a great candidate for a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After
Cesarean). That is when it really hit me: Holland’s birth would affect all of
my future births.
When I got pregnant with Irelyn I knew my goal was to have a
VBAC. I immediately went on a local Facebook forum and asked if people knew of
any VBAC friendly doctors in my area. I was so grateful to get TONS of
recommendations from the ladies in this group. I was also told about a forum on
Facebook all about VBACs (VBAC Facts Community—anyone who has had a previous C-section
should check out this forum and website to learn more about VBACs/RCS (Repeat
C-Sections)). I joined the group on Facebook and started researching the many
doctors recommended to me.
I found a wonderful doctor and my pregnancy passed quickly
(thanks to Holland keeping me nice and busy!) without any complications. I made
sure to talk to my doctor about my plans to have a VBAC at every appointment
and the more I talked to him the more supported I felt. I would come home from
each appointment just so grateful to have such a supportive doctor.
As I got closer to my due date I felt like I needed to
mentally prepare for whatever birth experience I would end up having. I felt
like I needed to face the reality that things might not go the way that I
wanted. At this point I really felt like the most important thing I could do to
prepare for this birth experience was to take my concerns/fears/desires to my
Heavenly Father and then let things happen the way He planned. The last few
weeks of my pregnancy I went to the
temple a few times, read my
scriptures,
wrote down scriptures and hymns that I could read before/during/after labor for
comfort, and said a LOT of prayers. I knew that having a C-section again was
something that I might have to face and I wanted to be able to feel peace with
whatever birth experience I ended up having.
My due date came and passed uneventfully, just like
Holland’s. Let me tell you, going over your due date is not fun at all! I do
not wish it upon anyone. With Holland I remember crying every day I went over
my due date. I would go to bed every night thinking, ‘Tonight could be the
night!’ and waking up every morning was really disappointing. This time I
wasn’t quite so upset but I didn’t know if I could emotionally handle going two
weeks over again and then going through the same labor experience just to end
up with a C-section again. So just after my due date passed I started praying
about whether or not I should schedule a Repeat C-Section. This was something I
had not even seriously considered my entire pregnancy and honestly, before I started
considering it I had thought it was absolutely ridiculous for people to
schedule Repeat C-Sections for their personal convenience. But, here I was
considering it. And as I prayed about it I felt peace. I felt like it was an
okay decision for me to make and this was a reminder to me not to judge others for their decisions.
I had an appointment the following Wednesday (40 weeks and 3
days) and I talked to my doctor about scheduling a C-section. I went over the
pros and cons with him and explained my reasons for coming to this decision. He
was very supportive and understanding of my decision and we scheduled the
C-section for one week later (41 weeks 3 days) with the hospital. He reminded
me that if I went into labor before then that of course we would still try for
the VBAC. I cried on the way home from that appointment because I felt like I
was giving up on my lifelong dream of experiencing natural, unmedicated
childbirth. I prayed and let Heavenly Father know that I was trusting in Him
that things would happen the way they were supposed to. After getting my tears
out I again felt at peace with my decision. I knew that I was still giving my
body/my baby time to start things and I also had a week to come to terms with
having a C-section if that’s how things turned out.
And then things actually
started happening.
Thursday through Saturday I had Braxton Hicks for a couple
hours each night but they would inevitably fizzle out and be gone when I woke
up the next morning. I did not have these with Holland at all though so that
was definitely a positive change! Saturday during the day I did some serious
nesting. I am not an awesome housekeeper (just ask Race) but Saturday I deep
cleaned our kitchen and bathroom and just did other general house cleaning
things. I spent hours cleaning and organizing. I’m sure we’ve all heard stories
about people doing serious nesting RIGHT before their babies come and I’m not
going to lie, I was hoping this all meant something for me but I also didn’t
want to get my hopes up too much. So I went to bed hoping I would wake up to
contractions in the night or to my water breaking or something but I woke up
the next morning a little disappointed. I couldn’t be too sad though because it
was Easter!
Race, Holland, my brother Solomon, and I headed to church
and enjoyed some wonderful talks and musical numbers speaking of
Christ and His
wonderful sacrifice for all of us. I was pleasantly surprised to notice that I
was experiencing Braxton Hicks (during the day!!) so we headed home after
Sacrament meeting so that I could get some rest and see if the Braxton Hicks
were going to turn into anything more.
At home we ate a delicious Easter dinner, hid Easter eggs
for Holland, ate lots of yummy candy, rested, and just enjoyed the afternoon
together. The Braxton Hicks got a little bit stronger but they weren’t any
closer together or really regular at all. I wasn’t getting my hopes up that
Irelyn was on her way just yet. I did start looking up some information on
Spinning Babies about how to turn a posterior baby while in labor. I was pretty
sure that Irelyn was posterior just like Holland and I didn’t want to end up
with a C-section because I couldn’t push this baby out. So around 8:30 PM with my contractions becoming a bit stronger but still somewhat irregular I
decided to try some
abdominal lift and tucks. In between/during contractions I
did some work, showered with Holland, tried to rest, helped put Holland to bed,
and just tried to see if things were progressing. I was totally in denial that
things were really happening until 11:13 PM when I texted my mom telling
her that the contractions were stronger and closer together but that I was
going to try and rest and time them for a few minutes before we decided to head
out the door.
I didn’t end up being able to rest at all. Race and I started
getting last minute things ready to go, and over the next 45 minutes while we
rushed around things finally started to feel real to me. I really had to stop
and concentrate when I had a contraction and I didn’t have much time between
contractions. I kept trying to braid my bangs so they would be out of my face
during delivery but after trying to quickly do that between 3 contractions I
gave up and just twisted them back quickly.
At 12:00 AM we headed out the door to the hospital. My mom
has always said that you don’t leave until you don’t want to get in the car. I
hadn’t intentionally done that but the car ride was absolutely the hardest part
of my labor. It was not fun to labor in the car at all. My contractions were
close and very strong the whole drive so the drive felt like much longer than
the 30 minutes it actually was. I responded to a text from my mom asking how
close contractions were saying “Not sure. 1-3 minutes. 1 minute long. Really strong.
Car is bad.” So eloquent. Haha. On the car ride I was a little ridiculous
during contractions but Race just kept comforting me—letting me know that we
were getting close and holding my hand.
We arrived at the hospital around 12:30 AM and I had to stop
two or three times on the very short walk from the car to the ER to squat
through contractions. At this point I had realized that I was feeling the need
to push and I couldn’t really help trying. We were taken up to labor and
delivery and I was admitted into triage at 12:35 AM. I got into my gown quickly
and the triage nurse checked me. She didn’t actually say how dilated I was but
as she walked out of the room she said to the other nurses “She’s good to go.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant but immediately after she walked out I kind of
pushed through a contraction and my water broke…all over the triage floor. It
was seriously so loud and so much water that I was convinced for a half second
that my baby had just shot out of me! Super ridiculous, I know, but it was really
super loud! All the nurses heard it so they rushed right in and got me moved
into a labor and delivery room right away. By 12:39 AM I was hooked up to
monitors and by 12:50 AM I was pushing.
Pushing felt AMAZING. It felt so good to push through the contractions
and to know that my body was doing just what it was supposed to. The entire
time I was pushing I was just thanking Heavenly Father for this wonderful
experience. At 1:09 AM Irelyn Sage Ashby came into the world and was
immediately placed on my chest where she stayed for the next hour or so. Eventually we found out that she weighed 7 lbs. 12 oz. and was 20 3/4 inches long. I was so in shock at how wonderfully things had
gone and so grateful and happy to meet my sweet baby girl and to have had such
a wonderful delivery experience.
My doctor was unable to make it to my crazy fast delivery
but the doctor on call was wonderful! Dr. Bradley did some massaging of my
perineum while I pushed to help avoid serious tearing, which I was so
grateful for. The nurses were also amazing. They coached me a little on how to
push more efficiently and then just let me do my thing. Afterwards they said
they wanted me to come back and teach classes on how to have a successful VBAC
and one nurse kept telling me that I had such amazing control while pushing at the
end that it seemed like I had an epidural. I was so grateful for the loving,
encouraging words and was just so overwhelmed with joy at how wonderfully the
whole experience had gone. Even though our experience with Holland was a little scary and loooong and exhausting for Race and I both, Race was still so supportive of my decision to have a VBAC. He was my constant support and he was so happy to have had such a wonderful experience this
time around. I am so grateful for him and I am so grateful that we were both able to
experience such a healing, beautiful birth. I am also grateful to have learned so much from my birth experiences, and I feel like because of my very different experiences I can be more understanding and empathetic towards people who have had all kinds of births.
And now for some photos!
Last bump photo on Easter Sunday {41 weeks}
Meeting Dad for the first time.
So tiny and adorable.
Our first "family picture". Holland is holding her new baby doll while Race shows her Irelyn and I'm hiding back behind the faucet in the reflection. Haha. Holland is absolutely in love with her "baby sisser"!
