An Emotional Morning

It's been a crazy morning: I have cuddled in bed with my husband, gotten in a fight with my husband {like I've said our marriage isn't perfect}, made up with my husband, gotten a call about a job I applied for, rushed to an interview before class, got the job, missed my class, realized the job will not help cover all of our expenses, gotten really emotional and cried, recognized the hand of my Heavenly Father in my life, prayed, cried some more, called my husband with good news, cried some more, prayed some more, read my scriptures, and then decided I needed to share my experience {that's where I'm at right now}.

Now all of that in a little bit more detail:

Over the summer I quit my job. It was stressful, too many hours, and my boss was emotionally abusive. It was a good thing. I had worked really hard for the past year and come home crying about the way I was treated as well as the way the children I was nannying were being treated by their mom, my boss. It was a very good decision to quit my job and I don't regret it. However, I HATE job hunting and did not try very hard over the summer to get a job. I worked for about a month nannying/babysitting various families in Flagstaff and it helped to keep us afloat. Race worked a TON over the summer at his on campus job and cleaning and that's what really kept us afloat.

Cue school starting. As I've mentioned before school is stressful and hard and makes my life a lot busier {it has been getting better though}. Since school has started I have actually been doing better about applying for a job and job searching but nothing had come of it...until today.

Earlier this week I took an application into the office that Race works in because he had said that they were really busy and needed the extra help. When I talked to his boss it sounded like they needed someone to cover times other than when I was available so I didn't think anything would come of it. She did say that she would pass my application on to other offices in the building. She did and yesterday I got a call while I was in class asking if I could work Tuesdays and Thursdays from 12-5pm. I called back as soon as I got out of class and left a message saying that I had class until 12:25 so I couldn't start right at noon but I would be able to get there by 12:35 at the latest if that's when they needed me. I got a call back this morning.

This was after getting frustrated with Race about money stuff and how stressed out he's been. Who gets frustrated at someone for being stressed...when they're stressed?! Apparently I do. I was being ridiculous and mean and not appreciating Race for all that he does for me and for our little family. I wanted him to just be happy even though things have been really stressful for him. I wasn't being understanding at all. {I feel like I should edit all of that out but I am not going to because it was part of the emotional morning. Please don't hate me for being a crazy lady though!}

After getting frustrated at ridiculous things I apologized to Race, drove him to work, and we went to look for the guy {George} who had called me on the phone so that hopefully I could meet with him and convince him that I deserve the job. We couldn't find him so I headed home after giving Race a kiss. About an hour later is when the call came. George asked if I could meet with him right away for an interview. I headed straight over to Race's work {40 minutes before my class was supposed to start} and  met with George. And I got the job! I was really excited. I dropped by Race's office and gave him a thumbs up signaling I had gotten on the job. He was on the phone so we didn't get to talk.

On my way out the door I looked at my watch to see that I had ten minutes to get to my class that is all the way across campus. That's a twenty minute bus ride plus a ten minute walk. There was no way I was going to make it on time. Especially not on time for the quiz at the beginning of class. I super stress about being late so instead of rushing to make it I gave up...{I know...bad me}. Anyway, as I was walking to my apartment instead of rushing to my class I decided to calculate about how much I'll be making a month at my new job. I was only guaranteed 8-10 hours a week at minimum wage so that put me at not very much money and much less than we need to pay for rent and our phone bill and food and other important things. I started crying. I had missed class because of an interview for a job that wasn't even going to cover everything that we needed. I was upset and mad and really frustrated.

I got home and called my mom {because that's what I do when I'm frustrated}. I talked to her and she reminded me {like she always does} that this may be a blessing in disguise. That we may need to learn from actually having to scrimp when it comes to money {we never really had to do that with my old job}. While I was on the phone with my mom I decided to check Race's NAU student account to see if he had received his financial aid yet {he had to redo our taxes so he was way behind of receiving financial aid and was convinced that he wasn't going to get anything}. I have been checking every day since school started to see if he has gotten anything. He has been thinking that I am ridiculous because nothing was going to come. But, lo and behold, today, in his account sat a $5550 Pell Grant {plus some other loans that we declined}. This was exactly what we needed. It was exactly what I needed today. I told my mom and told her that I needed to call Race. She reminded me that before I did ANYTHING else I needed to get down on my knees and thank Heavenly Father for this blessing. So I did. And I cried. I do not know how Heavenly Father knows the EXACT right time to give us the things that we need but he does. His timing is absolutely perfect and I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who shows me that he is watching and he cares about ME and my husband and our itty bitty family. It was such a nice feeling to call Race and let him know that we are going to be okay and that Heavenly Father notices us. His response: "We need to double up on our scripture reading and praying!" I love my husband. And I assure you that we will be doubling up on all of that and more!

I just prayed yesterday that I would be able to recognize Heavenly Father's hand in my life every day and I think today was a really good start. :] I know it's not always things as big as $5550 but I know that Heavenly Father is taking care of us every single day and if we look for his hand {whether it comes in the form of service from others, personal revelation, or anything else} in our lives we will see it.

I am grateful for this emotional morning.